Teenage Love On The Phone

Performed by adam sandler and allen covert



Richie: "so ya doin' good?"

Samantha: "ya, i'm fine, how 'bout you?"

Richie: "how good could i be? i haven't seen you in three hours."

Samantha: "ohhh, richie. hey richie, my dad's down the hall, and he doesn't want me on the phone. so if i hang up on you, it's just because he's coming."

Richie: "ok. so look, uh, do you wanna meet at the spring fling dance thi..."

[she hangs up phone]



[phone rings]

Richie: "hello?"

Samantha: "sorry, i thought he was coming."

Richie: "that's ok. so, about the dance. do you wanna meet

Samantha: "umm, well my brother gets the car on friday nights."

Richie: "well that's ok, i'll come by and get you. lets say around..."

[she hangs up phone]

Richie: "come on.."



[phone rings]

Richie: "hey."

Samantha: "sorry. i guess he was just going to the bathroom."

Richie: "that's ok. well look, uh.. what was i saying? oh yeah, should i pick you up at like seven-thirty or maybe do you wanna go later when the dance is really kickin.."

[she hangs up the phone again]

Richie: "give me a break..."



[phone rings]

Richie: "hello."

Samantha: "sorry. it was just my dog."

Richie: "hey, what's your dad's problem anyways!? why can't we talk?"

Samantha: "he just thinks i'm on the phone too much. oh my god, uh, i gotta go."

Richie: "don't hang up!"

Samantha: "richie, i can't talk!"

Richie: "no, i'm sick of this! put your dad on the phone! i wanna talk to him."

Samantha: "it's not my dad."

Richie: "what? well, who's there? why can't you talk?"

Samantha: "uh, just look richie, someone is here."

Richie: "who's there? is it a guy!?"

Samantha: "richie!"

Richie: "i knew it! i'll kill him! put him on the phone!"

Samantha: "oh.. it's just.. hold on."



[hands phone to guy]

Richie: "hey man! what the hell are you doing there!? samantha's my girl!

You'd better stay away from her or i'll make you wish you were never born!"

Buffoon: "fuckin' shit!"

Richie: "yeah, fuckin' shit is right buddy! don't think i'm kidding around, man! i'm crazy! i'll smash your head in! i swear to god!"

Buffoon: "one time i saw my grandmother in the shower. her bush starts above her belly button."

Richie: "yeah, well that's too bad! but i'm still gonna come over there and beat your face in!"

[richie slams down phone]



Samantha: "what happened? was he mad?"

Buffoon: "my neighbor's dog has a four inch clit!"

Samantha: "oh buffoon, you're the coolest." [whispering] "i love you..."


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